Puppy Linux: New Tricks For Old Dogs

This post concerns custom operating systems; any non-geeks might want to go away now. Though you might learn a thing or two about speeding up your machine if you choose to stay. Okay then.

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For as long as I've known Nina, she's had real issues with her laptop. A Vista machine that's just not spec'd enough for such a demanding OS (even after major tweaking), the thing takes up to ten minutes to become useable once booted; after that, intermittent freezes, lockups and general sloth-like response times are the norm. Even something as simple as browsing the Web becomes a teeth-gnashing experience. It's little wonder that she barely uses it. With her email inbox overflowing, her foreign friends neglected and her creativity stifled (she's a skilled writer and relies on Word to store and edit her material), it was a matter of days before the thing would be flung out of her apartment window to a meaningless end on the concrete below.

I managed to solve the issue by introducting Nina to Puppy Linux, an incredibly lightweight operating system that can run from a LiveDVD. Put the disc in the drive and turn the machine on, and in twenty seconds you have a fully-usable desktop with web browser, word processor, spreadsheet and other utilities. The system can read and write to Windows folders on the hard drive like Documents and Downloads, so Nina can get at her existing work and share it between Puppy and Vista. If she makes changes to Puppy itself (e.g. changes her wallpaper or other desktop settings), the system overwrites the DVD with the latest version of itself - leaving everything on the computer itself completely unchanged. And if Nina wants to use Vista for some reason, she simply takes the DVD out of the drive and reboots. Oh, and it's free, in every sense of the word.

In practice the whole thing works amazingly. Web browsing is blindingly fast, even on high-footprint sites like Facebook and YouTube, and the general responsiveness and usage of the system is incredible; it's like having a brand new computer. Obviously there's slightly less in the way of eye candy, and there's a small learning curve when switching to a Linux-style interface, but thanks to custom themes and skins the transition is much less painful than you'd imagine. Nina is incredibly happy with it and says she's much more motivated to use her machine now. I was so impressed that I'm going to set up my own version for general PC use; given that nothing loads from the hard disk, it should prove a boon for my slowly dying home machine. Those of you with old kit out there could do a lot worse than to give it a crack yourselves; it might just give you a whole new daily computer experience.

NJM

Dec '09 Update (Does My .BAT Look Big In This?)

2009 has certainly been the year for neglecting the blog. In fact my online presence has diminished considerably over the past 12 months - I can't even remember the last time I had a conversation on MSN (if 'conversation' is the right word for it). So at the risk of fostering lazy habits, here's my latest bullet-point update. In this issue: haematology, exploding hard drives, and heavy bag. Indeed.

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• Belated birthday congratulations to both Robyn and Kaz, who each added an extra stroke on the wall recently. I was going to mention their respective ages, but it may well have become taboo without my realising. Congratualtions girls!
• Over the past month or so I've made several trips to my new doctor - the first time I've set foot in the waiting room since moving to Belfast in 2004. Many of you will be aware of the physical abuse I subjected myself to in the years that followed: poor diet, interminable drinking, recreational drugs and prolonged stress. Furthermore, both my gradfathers died of cancer, and I had been a heavy smoker for 5 years. In light of all that, I was understandably nervous about going for an MOT lest the results reveal a catalogue of hitherto-unseen conditions and general nastiness. Unbelievably, the results from my blood tests reveal I'm in almost perfect health; cell count, sugars, cholesterol, and so on are all fine. Even my blood pressure is normal, which was amazing given that I'd had a stand-up argument with my boss the very morning I was tested. If there's a weakness it's that I'm technically overweight: 14.5 stone (203lbs / 92kg), which at a height of 6' 2" gives me a BMI of 25.6. My doctor actually weighed me twice, as she couldn't believe I was overweight: apparrently I 'wear it well'. She then fed me the line about muscle weighing more than fat, which I've been repeating like a mantra ever since. Still, my persistent beer gut has forced me back into regular gym visits, accompanied by Nina, who joined to take advantage of the swimming pool.
• I'm going back into the studio in the next week or two to get a couple of vocal tracks down: 'Night Of The Witch', a brooding tribal affair; and 'A Cautionary Tale', the latest incarnation of an industrial stomper based on a McGrathy riff, which may or may not be about a demonic vagina. My PC is dying a slow and horrible death, so I'll be relying on a stripped-down custom Linux box for sound capture. Come to think of it, I have a copy of Linux Format magazine in my bag as I write: the line between geek and nerd has never been so thin.

I've got a few musings I'd like to get down here soon, so maybe, just maybe, there will be more to come later. The four or so of you still reading can hardly wait, no doubt.

NJM

Left 4 Dead: Still Gr8

Things fall apart quickly when you don't work together.

Zoey had been killed by a Tank a few blocks back, and the ensuing battle had left Francis, Bill and myself badly wounded. Yet Francis had run on by himself, perhaps out of fear or impatience, and now I could hear him getting ripped apart by Infected on the other side of a huge bus blocking the road. I started through the warehouse to get around the barricade and help him, but I had barely taken five steps when I heard a cry of 'NOOOO!' over my shoulder. I spun round to see Bill being dragged backwards by the huge tongue of a Smoker, the coughing and spluttering of the creature audible behind a parked car. Instinctively I fired at it, but a stray bullet hit the car and set off its alarm, which shrieked in the night. Before I could close the distance to Bill, who was still constricted and slowly being strangled, we were both completely engulfed by a horde of Infected. About a dozen blocked my path and grabbed at me, knocking off my aim every time I tried to get a shot at the Smoker and free Bill. A huge scream overhead heralded the arrival of a kill-stealing Hunter, who pounced on the helpless Bill and tore him to shreds. Knowing he was lost, I shot my way backwards out of the melee towards where Francis was.

I managed to dispose of the remaining Infected and found Francis's corpse a short time later. Distended, disembodied legs nearby told me he'd fought a Boomer and had got covered in Infected-baiting bile for his trouble - blinded, surrounded and alone, he'd had little chance. I was the only one alive, and my chances looked grim. My only option was to make a run for it, in the hope that I could cover enough distance to reach a safe room and heal up. Swallowing some pain pills, I sprinted, not stopping, blasting any Infected out of my way. Past a Witch, who looked threateningly in my direction but mercifully remained passive. Up the street, through an office building, a train yard, all the while clawed at by Infected, my health ebbing away, til I had slowed down and was out of shotgun shells. The screams of twin Hunters cut through the air behind be, and I turned round, barely avoiding one of them jumping straight at me. I ducked into an open container and unloaded my pistols into its head, before limping out of the container into the light - and straight into another horde of Infected. I went down, incapacitated, but still firing wildly as they flailed and stomped at me in droves, blocking out the sky with their emaciated forms, before the second Hunter leapt onto me and sealed my fate. All was lost.

No, it's not a dream. With the (controversial) release of Valve's football-score-sounding Left 4 Dead 2 less than a week away, I've been playing a hell of a lot of the illustrious original over the past few days. It really is a gloriously intense experience, with staggering replay value for a game with only five available scenarios, and the Versus mode continues to provide twitchy, cinematically epic moments to rival the best that other dynamic shooters like Halo 3 and Far Cry 2 can offer (as the above account, taken from a recent online session, illustrates). Having played the demo of L4D2, I still have some reservations about the new tone and setting, and wonder if the new additions to the formula will destabilize rather than enhance the rich blend of chaos the first game provided. Still, even if the sequel does disappoint, there will always be time for another trip to Mercy Hospital in my book. Pass me my Molotov.

NJM

October 2009: An Update

I guess it's time for the (by-now customary) bullet-point update.

• Over the Hallowe'en weekend I had the pleasure of dressing up two days in a row. On Friday I hacked together a shirt, tie and some basic makeup into some kind of corporate zombie outfit, and took part in the Critical Zombie Mass - a spooky-themed variant of the bike ride from last month. Despite the freezing weather we had a great turnout, with 40-odd freaks on two wheels seeping through the city streets to the tune of 'Thriller' and 'Tubular Bells'. Great fun, though I retired early to get home and work on my costume for the following night - Harvey 'Two Face' Dent from The Dark Knight, in all his charred, ripped glory. I wasn't entirely happy with the way it turned out - I had more planned for my 'bad eye' that had to be scrapped at the last minute, and the exposed jaw didn't look too hot in my mind - but everyone at Bingo's party on Saturday went mad over it. I even got presented with a bottle of champagne at the end of the night for Best Costume, though it might have been more of an award for having a high pain threshold - the plastic device I had manufactured to achieve Harvey's trademark one-sided snarl was uncomfortable to say the least.* Not to mention that I couldn't eat or drink for the two hours I was wearing it (I removed the mouthpiece later that night to partake of refreshments). Still, a fantastic weekend all round. I'm thinking a damaged T-800 or Dr. Jonathan 'Scarecrow' Crane for my 2010 effort.
• I'm almost finished my current web project - a holistic therapy site with content management system and social network integration. Once that's done, I'll be focusing on a few personal endeavours: an online portfolio for myself, and a site for my music (I have a name for the 'artist' in mind). In the wake of my Judge Head 'phase', I'm inherently suspicious of any blatant self-promotion or brand-building, but I realise it's a necessary evil to get the music out there and heard. So expect to see me on MySpace, Facebook, PureVolume and much more as we head into the New Year. There's the small matter of actually finishing the album to deal with, of course...
  
• Nina and I celebrated our first year together a few weeks ago. I can't express the full extent of how happy she makes me, because the words always seem to fall short. So I'll have to be content with saying that she's the love of my life. Again, the words just don't capture it; hopefully my actions do.
• Work has been somewhat frustrating lately. Every time I think I've broken through and can actually see progress in the main project, another obstacle comes crashing down in front of me; most of them seem to originate within the company, rather than from outside. Still, I'm going to persevere in the short term, though I just can't see me being there this time next year. Though I've said that before.

More to come later this month (honestly).

NJM

* The white plastic of the jawbone, meanwhile, was culled from my old Judge Head mask. Cutting it up was a symbolic moment indeed.

Thinly-Spread And Lightly Toasted

Last month is the first month I've gone entirely without making a blog post since time began. I'll be updating with pictures, tunes and hopefully a few new links this month. In the meantime, and to celebrate this dubious milestone, here's a nice song.



NJM

Wake Up, Time To Die(t): On Self-Neglect

It's become a real effort just to blog recently. It's not like I haven't got a lot to talk about - I have new web projects for four different clients on the go recently, and that's outside of work. I'm also at my most creatively inspired in ages, with a new style of lyric-writing that's really working and producing results. At this rate I could have my first album fully written and demoed by the end of October (©2001 Famous Last Words, Inc.). I also recently took part in a Critical Mass event in Belfast, which I helped organise and did graphic design for (I even bit the bullet and set up a ShTwitter feed for them). It was great fun to be out on my bike again for the first time in over 4 months, and avoiding arrest was also nice. My enthusiasm lessened when I saw the subsequent photos of myself, with my sunken eyes and protruding beer gut.

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Despite being in the best mental shape of my adult life, I've been neglecting myself physically. My fitness is lacking, I'm tired a great deal of the time, and I've even developed skin irritation on my leg. Stress from work might be a factor, perhaps exacerbated by my sense of being devalued or taken advantage of by management. It's also a bitter irony that I no longer feel compelled to hide the cracks in my personality (real or imagined) by cultivating an external 'image'. Where in the past my frequent gym visits were the result of narcissism and paranoia, these influences are no longer as compelling. I guess the trick now is to become compelled by the desire to stay fit and healthy, rather than some misguided attempt to look a certain way (though looking good would be a great bonus). The bike is back on the road and the gym is just around the corner - I think a diet is now in order. I did it before, and I can do it again. Watch this space.

So there's just a few of the things I haven't been blogging about. And would you look at that - a blog post!

NJM

Misanthropic Thought Of The Day

This probably isn't very cool to say, but I'll say it anyway: in my opinion, any parent who blogs, Facebooks, Tweets or otherwise comments on the web as their own baby - complete with lolcat-style babyspeak and made-up words - needs to be put against the wall and beat about the face with a bat.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

NJM